Thursday, 24 January 2013

The Art of Peer Pressure

This was all started in the pursuit of fun!
Well no, not really.
We just really needed to get rid of these balloons + I felt super winter awesome!
Okay silly use of adjectives (are they adjectives?) aside; this is the first time I wore this sweater.
It had lived in my closet for a week, and before that the glorious boxing day sale rack at H&M.
The best part about this sweater is that it's almost like a faded jean. Try and see if you can spot what I'm talking about in the following pics.

I just couldn't keep my happiness to myself.
So much so that I urged Na Eun to try for a jumping pic!!

Sweater - H&M (mens)
Jeans - H&m (from a LONG LONG time ago)
Boots - Barefoot Tess 

So after I popped ALL 'dem balloons (I'll show you pics on that too), we got down to business. 

I will be the first person to admit that my posing is slapstick, I'm lucky that with the right timing + super wonderful Na Eun we get these shots!

That sorta deep stare!
[Brought to you by the sun and 'Oh no, I don't want to go blind from staring at it thoughts']

Plus did I tell you how obsessed I am with my new hair???????????
If that overuse of question marks right there didn't, well I don't know what else will internet chum.
But give it two - three more weeks and I'll be so over it.

I was actually coming off exhaustion when these were taken; can you tell?
Thank goodness tomorrow is almost Friday!
Three cheers.

And now, my haute mustache for you all. 
I swear I've done this twice in class, unwittingly of course.
The first time everyone was super tired, and acting tres tres crazy.
So I looked across the room and said mustachio to a pal who was also mimicking a mustache; we all laughed.
The second time was this year, I was supremely bored in English. I thought I was being discreet, until I saw the girl across from me give me a total WTF stare.....
Maybe I'll pose next time?

Happy almost Friday everyone!!!!
I'm off to stare at some research for essays, all the while fighting the urge to buy these shoes I've been eyeing since Monday. That kind of wait will cause intense loss of focus, or maybe it's just me!!

Monday, 21 January 2013

Lookie Here: Some Thoughts On Fitness

Today fellow citizens of the world, I worked out!!!!
I know I know, a round of applause is necessary. 
This comes after TWO months of hop-skipping my way away from that dreaded track.
Away from those people who are practically smiling as they exercise their glutes, abs and thighs to the next level of toned up fitness.
I have to say I always feel a sense of revulsion going to the gym. I really do not see the need to add more reps or run another 15 laps.
Seriously I rarely feel perky enough to willingly tell myself, sure Akoyi; a little more of the stair-master would be LOVELY! 
Another fifty floors? Why not.
So today after my practically two month hiatus (I am not counting those one off days of fitness), I went back!
Stair master - no problem
Some physio - bring it on!
It was this particular frame of mind that led me to a drop in spin class; and a revelation I have not thought of.
Spin has been recommended to me before. 
My friends with killer legs, girls who say it's the only thing they really do and guys who just say DO IT!
So I found myself a bike and hopped on.
The first  few minutes were amazing torture; in-between some Muse (They will not controllllll uussss...) and the helpful guy on the next bike who pointed out how to adjust my bike seat for maximal fun, I thought 'I am totally going to make it!!!!
Fifteen minutes later I was done.
This was however not the cause of general out of shape-ness BUT the cause of having a f*cked up body.
My body has gained quite a few injuries during my short time here, I'm not really going to go into specifics but let's just say my physiotherapist's office is the closest I get to heaven on earth.
Don't get me wrong, I don't have horrific injuries. They are not of the television (and sometimes real life) breed where I will cry my eyes out after a few exercises; though I've come close. 
Instead they are the kind that leave me unable to sprint, ever (among other things) 
But my woes are not the moral of this story. 
Fifteen minutes into that spin class, I felt a tightness in my shoulders. Not the 'Oh my these muscles haven't been used in a while' variety but the 'there goes injury x acting up'. Standing up to leave that class has to be one of the most pride slashing things I've ever done.
This is because I like to consider myself a person who tries anything once. I've survived the trial of a number of more rigorous classes in a state of out of shape-ness that makes my present self look fit.
If I am being honest, it is the realization that my injuries limit me that really brings me down.
I have to worry about every fall, or the moment when I land too hard to a hard seat.
The thought of doing yoga, something that was once joy to me leaves me in a state of mind that can only be summarized in one word.
My body WILL NOT be bent as much as it used to be.
It cannot take all the running that it used to without a good hour of preemptive stretching exercises.
So I guess when I work out, I start to manifest self hate. When I see perky runner x, I want to stop and just stand there because I will not be able to push myself like that for a while to come.
And maybe more than that it's the little things. 
Playing games with little kids is now a hazard I won't take up willingly, their manner of sitting on your body like its a toy or coming at you with no caution runs a thousand and one horrible scenarios through my head.
I won't be able to chase people at a moments notice, tag is now obsolete.
These small things make me feel frustration, swiftly followed by disappointment.
Which makes doubt creep into my mind, especially when I am trying other things in my life.
My reasoning is flawed, but I think (haha do you see that? no?) if I can't control my body; what can I control.
Because it's a new year, my resolution is to try and go to the gym/work out almost everyday.
I want to overcome myself; but really I want to forgive myself for not being able to be what I have not been able to be for so long, fully able.
I am also forced to confront my own pride, especially today as all those strangers left the spin class fourty five minutes after my own departure. 
I do not want to be seen as a wimp, but I am not going to walk up to them and be all like I would have stayed longer if I could.
Thus I have to accept any silent judgments that are passed in their minds.
That is a hard thing to do.
This honest thing really is also quite challenging, I almost didn't start this post.
But look, now I've written you a small novel(well not really)

Thursday, 17 January 2013

Some Things Never Seem to F*h-cking Work; Until They Do

It's been SOOO long since I posted, I will blame this in part to school and my own laziness.
Anyways onto the outfit. 

I was attending a traditional event on this day and I wanted something that would embrace that without yelling 'I AM TRADITIONAL!!!'
Since it was going to be super cold in the afternoon I added my favorite sweater ever. Honestly I over wear this thing; the longest I've gone without wearing it is two weeks and that's only cuz I didn't want to  go through the labour of hand washing......
I know, I have many acts of laziness. 
New goal for 2013, right? 
I usually HATE animal print but I decided, meh! What the hell. Why not do something I think I don't like, nothing like killing hatred of stupid things.

Apart from finally updating I am also trying to be more open. 
I watched a Ted talk the other day; something done in boredom (usually). 
The gist of it all was that if we all tell our secrets, instead of keeping them we will feel better and start to live. Finally escaping that feeling of numbness.
At first I was hesitant, errrm why would I want people to know things that I'd rather keep to myself?
But them I realized that was it, the more you keep things to yourself, the more you feel by yourself.
So I messaged my ex-bestie and told her about something that I'd been keeping to myself for a long long time.
At first I felt anxious, but after a few moments of hearing my racing heart beat and warming up to the temperature of a hot saucepan, I felt better. 
Now if only I could be this honest when it comes to matters of the heart....
Small steps.
* By the way go listen to a song by Solange Knowles that bears the same title as my post, minus the -and h. It's pretty amazing.
It begs the question of why she isn't popular in the mainstream world of music. 
It's things like this that make me feel that we all have bad taste in music, and everything else.
But maybe I'm being too harsh.